Of President Humpty Dumpty and his males | The Guardian Nigeria Information


There’s no understating the significance of main faculties in our lives. It issues much less whether or not one ‘attended’ it at dwelling, sans classmates. The privileged few on this species by no means suffered the ignominy of leaving dwelling each morning to attend college. They acquired the required tutelage ensconced on the laps of nannies – and grannies, maybe.

Effectively, most of us weren’t afforded that home-schooling benefit. As younger as we had been, each morning we suffered the indignity of queuing up with our friends, enroute to high school. After six grotesque years, we then sat for the primary certificates we’ll ever possess in our lives. Then, ennobled with that piece of paper, we took the world head on.

In truth, the advantages of these data nuggets thus certificated are uncountable. So many, certainly, that a number of snuffled voices say that it’s there – and maybe the kindergarten earlier than it – that they had been taught all they ever knew in life. All later acquisitions, by them, being merely appendages to an already laid basis.

Distinguished within the potpourri are nursery rhymes. Principally chanted off key means again then, they had been usually meaningless on the time. However some do come again to hang-out us later in life. As their principally mispronounced lyrics purchase that means, we discover them buying a lifetime of their very own.

On a stroll on a starry night time the opposite day, one got here to me of its personal accord. Because the diamonds within the sky twinkled overseas, I might hardly restrain myself from mumbling its unforgettable strains. Questioning what certainly they had been, I beheld them up there with consideration extra rapt than should have been apt.

Or is it the opposite one which turned me right into a vocalist in a one-man band within the rest room the subsequent morning. Inexplicably, it was that one a couple of sure man on the wall; who, then, had an important fall. Assumedly, he broke up into so many smithereens that, attempt as could, all of the king’s males – in addition to his horses – couldn’t put him collectively once more.
Welcome from wonderland.

O sure, for I have to make haste to confess that the regurgitation of this one had me in a thrall. Immediately, it aggregated all I ever learnt from thence to the college. After all, again then we might solely afford to go that far educationally with somewhat assist from the federal government. You already know, again then when the federal authorities afforded all that distinctive profit hithertofore loved solely within the Western Area of yore.

Overlook that man from our ageing quantity who made daring to promote that tertiary schooling shouldn’t be for the faint of purse. Following his auspicious passage throughout its bridge, he now sees all making an attempt to make use of it as dissidents desirous to upturn his applecart.

In his amnesiac thoughts, he forgot that one other woe begotten ingredient like him had made the identical assertion in regards to the now nearly-obsolete desk cellphone.

Thank God he stayed alive to see barrow pushers toying with Android – nay ‘Eye’ telephones. And who is aware of, maybe the latter could but survive to see tertiary schooling subsidised. And even made as free because it was when scions of church rats like him benefited from it.

Anyway, in that ‘spectroscopic flight of fancy’ whereas observing my matutinal ablutions, varied vistas to the reawakened rhyme appeared. Maybe on account of my elevated literary appreciation, it not got here throughout as a person falling off a wall. Fortuitously, that man on the wall turned out the king himself. In any other case, why the trouble by his males – and horses – to place him collectively once more?

Immediately, it served as a mnemonic for the ‘king’ we elected in 2015. Sans session with anybody, he had promised that if voted into workplace, he’ll make the nation as pleasurable as Voltaire’s El Dorado. Within the effort, he stored piling one good factor upon the opposite that everybody however himself misplaced depend.

Notably, assuming the petroleum ministry, he pledged a never-attained revamp of the troublesome trade. Promising the revival of our moribund refineries, construct new ones and do no matter it’ll take to cease the importation of refined merchandise. They had been so messianic of their plausibility and feasibility that none as a lot mustered sufficient gravitas to doubt them.

The utmost top was attained in a gregarious tandem. Following his predecessor’s try to take away the subsidy on petroleum merchandise, he had pledged to scale back the pump worth of PMS to Forty-five Naira a litre. He even participated within the well-organised demonstrations and rallies that accompanied the hunt for the established order ante.

Furthermore, the intending king had acquired his primary coaching within the artwork of warfare. Thus, it was believed that the insecurity scourging the land could be snuffled by only a march of his boots on the Sambisa forest. What with a complete college of women being kidnapped earlier than the very eyes of the extant civilian king on the throne.

After all, all was nicely and nice. Until he ascended the throne. Sure, for less than then did the administration of our petroleum palava flip worse. Ever because it has slowly attained newer horizons of fear. Even with the metamorphosis of the Petroleum Business Invoice (PIB) into an act.

Safety smart, the cut price was no higher. Steadily, college after college stored falling into the fingers of bandits. Who, so blest, turned the act into the one booming enterprise within the nation.

Within the enveloping malaise, none appeared to provide as a lot as a damaged rattling. Immediately, elevating a voice in opposition to our king turned a cardinal sin. Not to mention marching the streets in protest like he had within the outdated dispensation. Solely that, usually unperturbed, he has presently blundered himself right into a cul de sac.

A lot that presently a verdict of the World Financial institution is hanging on our heads like as soon as upon a sword in classical occasions. Prefer it stands, sans horses, solely the president’s males are left patching up the shards. Actually equal to the duty, credentials smart, the one hiatus there’s to their vicarious efforts look like a sure lack of synchronicity. Just like the early Church in Antioch, every speaks in a distinct tongue oblivious of the opposite like in Babel.

So far there seems no finish in sight for all these however the intervention of Windfall. If we do run aground in any case, just like the permutations presume, there’s little question that there’ll be so many guilty. The gods aside, there’ll absolutely be so many demigods to be decapitated. Together with those who, of their megalomania, have forgotten that partitions when felled, develop into bridges.
Uzoatu wrote in from Onitsha, Anambra State.


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